crispy quinoa patties

The best way to consume this supergrain. A note of caution: there’s a step in this recipe that takes an hour of waiting around.

Core ingredients:

1 cup uncooked quinoa

2 cups vegetable broth or 2 cups water with 1 bouillon cube

1/4 cup sundried tomatoes (in oil)

2 tsp sundried tomato oil (from the sundried tomatoes)

1 green onion (as in, one bulb with potentially multiple stems)

2 tbsp mined garlic

3/4 cup spinach

1/2 cup shredded cheese (your choice, but Parmesan, Monterey, Colby Jack, and Mozzerella all work well)

1 egg, lightly beaten

1 cup canola or vegetable oil

Homemade pesto or one of the sauces below

 

Optional ingredients:

Chimichurri

1/2 cup olive oil

2 tbsp vinegar (white wine, apple cider, red wine)

2 tbsp minced garlic

1 tsp salt

1 tsp sugar

1/2 tsp lemon juice

 

Sriracha Mayo

1 tsp sriracha hot sauce

1/2 cup Greek yogurt

 

Directions:

  1. Combine quinoa and broth (or water + bouillon cube), cover, bring to a boil, then reduce to simmer for 10 minutes or until water is absorbed. Once cooked, stir with a fork and leave uncovered.
  2. Chop spinach finely, sprinkle with water, and microwave in a bowl for 30 seconds to wilt.
  3. Finely chop green onions (just the green part) and sundried tomatoes.
  4. Heat sundried tomato oil over medium heat until shimmering. Add chopped green onions and minced garlic. Sauté for 3 – 4 minutes until fragrant, then remove from heat.
  5. In a large bowl, combine quinoa, chopped sundried tomatoes, wilted spinach, sautéed garlic and green onion, and cheese. Stir until well mixed. The mixture should be quite sticky at this point and room temperature. If it’s still steaming, let sit at room temperature to cool.
  6. Add in lightly beaten egg to mixture and stir until egg is no longer visible.
  7. Lightly grease a cookie sheet with your favorite non-stick substance (spray, olive oil, etc). Form patties out of the quinoa mixture as shown below. Transfer the cookie sheet to the fridge and let sit for an hour.
  8. Heat cooking oil in a frying pan over high heat. Fry patties for 3 – 4 minutes on each side until golden brown. When flipping patties, transfer them to the cookie sheet first to avoid splashing your oil. The first side you fry will take longer than the second, as the patties have to warm up from the fridge.
  9. Transfer cooked patties to a paper-towel padded plate to allow excess oil to drain. Serve with pesto or one (or both!) of the sauces below.
Left: Preformed pattie. Right: Pattie fried on one side, post flip.
Not pictured: An hour of waiting with patties in the fridge.

Chimichurri

Add the ingredients to a food processor and mix for 5 mins. No seriously, that’s it.

Sriracha mayo

Stir the two ingredients in a bowl until smooth. If you want it spicier, add more sriracha.

 

The good stuff:

Markets go up. Markets go down. There are few certainties in life, but the volatility of cryptocurrencies seems to be at the top of the list. In a world where money is flooding into an asset that no one in the industrialized world has a use for yet, it’s hard to gauge the value of most cryptocurrencies. Traditional metrics (like revenue) don’t apply to blockchain companies quite yet.

To combat this uncertainty, most cryptocurrency enthusiasts have embraced a proven investing mechanism that helps them sleep better at night:

If you’re wondering what HODLing means, it simply is a misspelling of hold with BOLD ENTHUSIASM. Never has the act of not doing anything been more exciting than HOLDing. It’s as if the concept of maintaining ownership of an asset for more than a few months was nowhere to be found before the year 2015.

HODLing has plenty of merits, as it encourages the weak and feeble hand we all possess when dealing with investments to avoid FUD (fear uncertainty and doubt). It also has a core weakness — HODLing something useless will never bring you any returns.

Quinoa patties are a food like no other. Crispy on the outside, the soft interior bursts with umami from the sun-dried tomatoes and broth-soaked grains. Achieving this level of perfection is simple, yet difficult for the beginner.

You’re going to get halfway through this recipe and have these beautiful uncooked patties sitting in front of you. They’re going to be so well stuck together from your diligent use of egg as a binder. Your eyes are going to glaze over the remark above that you should put them in the fridge for an hour and wait.

They look so well formed — surely it’s fine to just cook them now.

Your mind will race with possibilities of saving an entire hour of waiting — you can do so much in an hour, and the aroma of broth and sun-dried tomato oil that’s permeating your kitchen has your appetite raving.

But you must be strong. You must HODL. Stick those patties in the fridge, set a timer for an hour, and go watch Netflix. If you don’t, your patties will fracture when you cook them, almost as badly as your crypto portfolio did when you panic sold in January.

Just HODL, and in this case, you’ll be okay.

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